In this time of term papers I wanted to draw my patron deity, Bullshitticus, god of students and general last minute fudgery, sitting upon his Golden Futon, attended by the muses Caffeina and Thesaurae, whose powers of artificial energy and pretentious vocabulary can be invoked in case of the all-nighter.
I like to think he’s Dionysus’s second cousin or something.
This is genius…
all wise words from the sagest of the sage.
A proud new dad sits down to have a drink with his father
"Well son, now that you’ve got a kid of your own, I think it’s time to give you this"
"Dad, you don’t mean-"
"Yes son, I do" *Dad pulls out copy of 1001 Dad Jokes, 5th Edition*
"Dad… I’m honoured…", he says, tears sparkling in his eyes.
"Hi honoured", replies his father. "I’m dad".
This holiday season give her the gift she’ll cherish forever.
This is probably the greatest thing I’ve seen all day.
I THINK IT’S REALLY IMPORTANT TO TALK ABOUT MASTURBATION AND SEX AND ORAL SEX ETC. ETC. FREELY LIKE IT’S A NORMAL THING BECAUSE IT IS A NORMAL THING IT’S A NORMAL HUMAN THING TO ENJOY PLEASURE AND A LOT OF PEOPLE ESPECIALLY GIRLS DON’T REALIZE THAT SO THAT’S WHY I TALK ABOUT IT SO FREELY IT’S IMPORTANT.
i fucking lost it at the one about swine flu
The one where they changed the clock and left xD